again, untitled..

this week was a hectic week for me...things happen very unexpectedly, i was freak out for a moment, i cant think straightly or even tak boleh berfikir secara logik...so, i can tell myself that i cant work under pressure..those yang tau, tau la apa yang jadi kat i kan? after a long day, i rewarded myself a facial and mandi sauna at this one new so called spa with a friend yang memang satu kepala dengan i...we went there around 6.30pm, and back home around 8.30pm..sekejap je, but it was very relax and cool myself down...to fiona, thanks a lot for everything and also for the news the news that u can cure my skin...i guess, setiap yang jadi ada hikmahnya kan? after all, i was pretty okay la...

and the next day, i started with oren kebaya, which i found it agak ketat or it is ketat, but i dont want to admit it! ehe...it was a wonderful day, until he came and torturing me! godd, its not like i never did, in fact i do treat him very well before, it just dia yang tak sabar je...arrghhh! then again i freak out! and start rasa tak sedap hati....i cried, and cried, and cried...i feel like i want to give up! i rsa macam i dah fail buat semua ni..if i know doing this was this hard, i wouldn't quit everything i did before...i'm stressed out! since Ramadhan, i cant get out from this problem...its become worst than i thought it will..hnaya Dia yang tahu, berapa banyak airmata keluar dari mata ini, betapa tertekannya perasaan & fikiran....but i think i hide it very well, from people around me..it just, my mom keep on asking me, wether i have problems or not...naluri ibu...but i refused to share with her...

one night, i didnt sleep...all i dowas, sit and think widely and wisely about the things yang jdi kat i...i figured out the main course..and i had just 1 answer: ME..its all started with me...i'm not good enough, not serius enough, not kuat enough..semua is not enough, i have to give everything to the maximum, sampai i sendiri pun tak terjangka i will...

so, after all things happen, i also can see who is the truly friend and so call best friend...so here are some kata-kata for those yang berkenaan:

to you: thanks a lot for listening to me, my story, my view, and my cry...thanks for the time you were there for me and be by my side..thanks for the love you shared with me..thanks for always helping me to get through hard times..thanks for always suport me and motivate me and layan my merepek and stupid dreams...and yes, terima kasih banyak2...

to you: terima kasih sebab banyak tolong selama ni, and all the tolongs were still safe inside ours...rasa2 nya lah kan...i promise i'll pay everything back to you..u were wonderful and very helpful nad i guess, i misjudge u selama ni...and i;m really sorry about that...now, i know the truth and i promise if u need help, i will always be around for you..samada, mentally or physically..and the our plan is still on kan, i hope it will jadi kenyataan soon..kita sama2 doa..amin..

so thats all, and thank you for the two of you..

xoxo